Vesta님의 프로필Awing Willow사진블로그리스트기타 도구 도움말

DAI Vesta

2월 10일

鼠年大吉

 
2008年其实已经到来了2个多月了,可是作为一个中国人,只要春节还不过,新年就不算是真的来了。盼来盼去,终于,送走了万恶的本命年!!!迎来了鼠年。。。不管老鼠是不是女人的天敌,这里要先说一声,鼠年大吉!
 
感觉好像是第一次用中文写日志。最初刚开始工作不开心的时候,想在这里发泄郁闷,又担心常在网上的老妈看到了会担心女儿的身心健康,于是欺负她老人家看不懂,用英文写。后来换了工作环境,进一步又换了上司,日子一天一天好过起来,心情好起来就会犯懒,不在这里留言。这不,春去春又回,一转眼又是一年了。
 
不知不觉地,自己已经从“youngest”变成了大姐。聚会时一看周围,居然大多数是小弟小妹,吓了一跳。不经意的翻看以前的照片,当初刚照出来认为丑的见不得人的,现在看来居然会感叹 - 我也曾经美丽过。。。哈哈。。大概是和现在镜子里的人形成鲜明对比吧!也罢也罢,容颜会老去,四季不会停,随他去好了。
 
辞旧迎新,应该对2007年做个小结才好,以后等白发的时候再看现在这些文字,应该别有一番风味吧。
 
没有长期饭票的现代女强人,要自己工作养活自己,所以暂且还是工作放在第一位好了。2007年可谓是惊涛骇浪。先是百般宠爱我的部长招来了新的次长作为我的直接上司,每天不遗余力的折磨我,几乎每天晚上11点下班,还美其名曰“training”。没有投资经验的他像只无头的苍蝇,叮叮这里,嗅嗅那里,毫无方向感的乱飞一气,结果是“nothing”。 精疲力尽之下,我暗暗下定决心,到了年底,有他就没有我,有我就没有他 -- 呵呵。。是不是够狠?没有拉,其实最大的能耐就是自己辞职而已。
 
谁知道峰回路转,部门内部兵变,部长和一名代理同年同月同日突然辞职。山中无老虎的时候,各大次长纷纷四处斡旋,大搞政治,不惜拼个你死我活。我一向头脑简单,四肢又不发达,对人际关系一窍不通,谁知道一不小心也卷入到这场政治漩涡的中心。既然被拉下了水,干脆心一横,你走你的阳关大道,我过我的独木桥,在华侨大哥的带领下,一行三人正式脱离了以前的组织,投靠本公司最有权威的带头大哥,干起了海外IPO。1月1日公司人事发表的那一天,其他两位次长似乎傻了眼,他们大概谁也没有料到华侨大哥居然真的带领我们成功出走了吧!
 
来到更大的办公室,见到更多新鲜的面孔,脸上的笑容也一天比一天多起来,慢慢重新找回了久违的那个乐天开心的我。
 
感情阿感情,是单身女人永远聊不完的话题。一段超长,一段超短,再一段平平又淡淡,在从巴厘岛回来下飞机的瞬间,我下定了分手的决心,从此结束了我与韩国男人的一世情缘。不经意就开始的感情,在不经意之间又消失的无影无踪。Someone comes for a reason, someone comes for a season. 而我要找的人,却是要 "for a lifetime" 的,所以当然需要一点时间。不后悔以前的选择,是这些经历教会了我如何去爱与接受被爱,练就了我今天对待感情的坦然与豁达,不再是以前那个被男生追会大发脾气不要再见他的青涩的小女生了。如今的我,开始逐渐了解自己,也开始慢慢学着如何剥去容貌,衣饰,学历和职位,看到一个人的内涵。
 
我不喜欢以一个人的国籍去评价对方,中国人韩国人外国人,哪个国家并不重要,对味就好。(但是我不否认年少时受三毛影响,至今对西班牙男人抱有幻想。到了28岁还没人娶我的话,我的旅行地一定会是西班牙。)
 
家庭。成家之前,我的家庭就是爸爸和妈妈。一直觉得是妈妈替我挡了本命年的血光之灾。从来都是家里身体最健康的妈妈,居然突然病倒,开始以为是感冒发炎,误诊了十几天,到后来整夜整夜的不能睡觉,一个人坐在床上捧着心口捱到天亮。每当想起来都忍不住泪眼朦胧。。。怎么可以那么不在乎自己,最后送到医院急救时一下午连续四次室颤,病危通知下了三次。手术出来后,医生开玩笑的说,你妈妈到阎王面前转了四圈又回来了阿!心脏病手术原来是要把胸骨打断,胸膛剖开,让两个护士使劲的掰开胸口把心脏拿出体外来做的。从此,妈妈的心脏里多了两片金属的瓣膜。而且防止血液凝固的华法林是要终生服用的,一天不用就会发生生命危险。而且不能多吃绿色蔬菜,不能有任何外伤否则血流不止。妈妈年纪还轻,上天保佑她早日恢复健康,长命百岁。
 
和爸爸关系不好近十年了。两个原因,一个是我,一个是妈妈。
 
上大学那年,我思前想后最终决定报考北大法律系,谁知道前脚把志愿书递上去,他后脚就瞒着我给班主任打电话改换了中国政法大学。三天后我才知道。高考成绩出来了,高出北大分数线二十多分。政法大学也不错,可是我一点也不开心,一直生爸爸的气,怪他胆小怕事,不敢承担风险,尽管我也知道,他做的一切都是替我着想,为我好。
 
为妈妈而生爸爸的气,听起来有些可笑,可是真的。我儿时的印象里,没有爸爸。那时他做记者,全国各地到处跑,唯一和爸爸有关的最早的记忆是,小时候很喜欢的一条粉红色连衣裙,和妈妈的鹅黄色连衣裙一个款式的,听说是爸爸出差时带回来的礼物,到现在都记得当时问妈妈时妈妈开心的笑脸。后来由于工作太拼命,爸爸身体一直不好,这么多年都是妈妈尽心尽力的照顾,住院的时候每天跑医院,在家的时候饭菜做好端到手边,家里里里外外妈妈一个人全包。不知道是由于生性急躁,还是由于身体拖累造成的心理压力,爸爸对妈妈经常没有好言好语。初中的时候,突然有一天妈妈一回家就摔东西,所有能碎的不能碎的摔了个精光,接着就是整天没完没了的吵架,我当时不知道什么原因,只有一个想法,这么个吵法,还是离婚的好。赫赫。。小孩子家的,希望爸妈离婚,真的是大逆不道哦。
 
后来听说,爸爸有外遇了。是真是假我不清楚,我也不想知道。妈妈为此所受到的伤害,是十四年来的心痛和忍隐,在他人甚至我的面前,还总是强作欢颜。公正的说一句,妈妈这次心脏病这么严重,大部分的责任在于爸爸。手术后醒过来,妈妈听见我提到爸爸就忍不住泪流满面。十四年的心结阿,妈妈怎么那么傻,苦的是她自己。都说女儿是妈妈贴身的小棉袄,我这个小棉袄没有当好,对爸妈的事情一直采取不理不问不负责任的态度。从现在起,该是我担起责任的时候了。我要好好照顾妈妈,要让她开心,不让她再受到任何伤害了。
 
很少和别人提起我的父母,因为我不认为他们是幸福的。当初妈妈看中爸爸的满腹才华,不顾一切的嫁给他,结果婚姻生活的大部分时间却是在愤恨和埋怨中度过。希望晚年的他们,多一份宽容和温馨,能够好好享受家庭的幸福。
 
看到父母的不愉快,曾经把选择男朋友的标准设定为父亲的相反:父亲头脑聪明,颇有文采,身形瘦削,性情急躁;所以我的男朋友一定头脑不要太聪明,不要有文采,不能太瘦要有肌肉,性情要温和宽容。现在重新反思,觉得这个标准似乎还是可行的。一方面有前车之鉴,决心不要重蹈妈妈的覆辙;另一方面,所谓身体发肤受之父母,我从爸爸那里一脉相承了很多,以后要想过幸福的生活,性格方面相反互补应该是最好的选择。
 
这一年不写日志的后果就是,一写就太长了。把看的人都累死,我就达成心愿拉。呵呵。。开个玩笑。工作,感情,家庭,都回顾了一下。那么,2008年的心愿其实很简单拉!
 
第一,要妈妈身体早日恢复健康,每天开心;
第二,争取找个真正的男朋友,不管是不是西班牙人;
第三,希望现在正在做的企业在9月份顺利上市。
 
OK, 做人不能太贪心,许愿呢只要三个就好。2009年再会哦!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
6월 28일

Cost of Living? Quality of Living?

Mercer Human Resource Consulting

Cost of Living Survey - Worldwide Rankings 2006
Rankings                                                                            COL Index
March 2006 March 2005          City Country                     March 2006 March 2005
1                    4                        MOSCOW Russia               123.9 119
                   5                        SEOUL South Korea          121.7 115.4
3                    1                        TOKYO Japan                    119.1 134.7
4                    9                        HONG KONG Hong Kong    116.3 109.5
5                    3                        LONDON United Kingdom  110.6 120.3
6                    2                        OSAKA Japan                    108.3 121.8
7                    6                        GENEVA Switzerland          103 113.5
8                    8                        COPENHAGEN Denmark     101.1 110
9                    7                        ZURICH Switzerland          100.8 112.1
10                 10                       OSLO Norway                    100 105.3
10                 13                       NEW YORK CITY United States 100 100
12                 15                       ST.PETERSBURG Russia     99.7 99.5
13                 11                       MILAN Italy                        96.9 104.9
14                 19                       BEIJING China                  94.9 95.6
 
 
 
Worldwide Quality of Living Survey 2006
Base City: New York, USA ( =100)
Rank 2005  Rank 2006 City Country Index2006 Index2005
 
1 1 ZURICH Switzerland 108.2 108.0
2 2 GENEVA Switzerland 108.1 107.9
3 3 VANCOUVER Canada 107.7 107.4
4 3 VIENNA Austria 107.5 107.4
5 8 AUCKLAND New Zealand 107.3 106.5
6 5 DUSSELDORF Germany 107.2 107.0
7 6 FRANKFURT Germany 107.0 106.8
8 7 MUNICH Germany 106.8 106.7
9 9 BERN Switzerland 106.5 106.4
9 9 SYDNEY Australia 106.5 106.4
11 11 COPENHAGEN Denmark 106.2 106.2
12 14 WELLINGTON New Zealand 105.8 105.0
13 12 AMSTERDAM Netherlands 105.7 105.7
14 13 BRUSSELS Belgium 105.6 105.6
15 16 TORONTO Canada 105.4 104.9
16 16 BERLIN Germany 105.1 104.9
17 14 MELBOURNE Australia 105.0 105.0
18 18 LUXEMBOURG Luxembourg 104.8 104.8
18 21 OTTAWA Canada 104.8 104.3
20 19 STOCKHOLM Sweden 104.7 104.7
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
6월 16일

A Lesson to Remember

一定要珍惜的十种人
   
 
1.遇到你真正爱的人时
要努力争取和他相伴一生的机会。因为当他离去时,一切都来不及了。

2.遇到可相信的朋友时
要好好和他相处下去。因为在人的一生中,可遇到知己真的不易。

3.遇到人生中的贵人时
要记得好好感激,因为他是你人生的转折点。

4.遇到曾经爱过的人时
记得微笑向他感激,因为他是让你更懂爱的人。
5.遇到曾经恨过的人时
要微笑向他打招呼,因为他让你更加坚强。

6.遇到曾经背叛你的人时
要跟他好好聊一聊,因为若不是他,今天你不会懂这世界。

7.遇到曾经偷偷喜欢的人时
要祝他幸福唷!因为你喜欢他时不是希望他幸福快乐吗?
8.遇到匆匆离开你人生的人时
要谢谢他走过你的人生,因为他是你精采回忆的一部分。
9.遇到曾经和你有误会的人时

要趁现在解清误会,因为你可能只有这一次机会解释清楚。
10.遇到现在和你相伴一生的人
要百分百感谢他爱你,因为你们现在都得到幸福和真爱。
3월 15일

life is a box of chocolate

After enjoying my depression and struggling for quite a while, the destiny finally turns a bit of her favor to me -- at least that is what it seems like. Guess what happen yesterday!
One of my colleagues, 노차장님, suddenly asked me to help him with a phone call, because he couldn't understand what his Chinese teacher just said on the phone. You know i am a kind-hearted person (Opps! hehe...) so of course i am willing to help. It turned out that his teacher wants him to get his picture whether at the culture center where they studied Chinese, or at her place which is very near our office.
 
As a messenger, i duly conveyed all the information to my colleague. Then out of expectation, she invited me to her place to have dinner together! i think it takes a nice person to invite a total stranger to share food^.~, so of course i should go and meet her!
 
Her apartment is only 100 meters away from my office, good location and nice fitment. and i was glad to find her a charming lady, just as my colleague said. and lucky me! she happened to be preparing Chinese dumplings when i was calling her! hehehe... and especially she is from the same place where my grandma is from and where my mother was born -- Qingdao. so you can image how the taste of her dumpling pleased my stomach.... hihihi... can't help gigglling till now...
 
What's more impressive is that, she came here alone to teach Chinese for three years, with a husband and a 9 years' old child at home. I really appreciate her spirit to explore different experience in her life, and saw many similarities between us. I wish i could be the same vigorous, brave and independent.
 
Not only the dumplings pampered my stomach, but also the nice talking with her lead to a change in my opinion. i was not very supportive with one friend's possible plan to come to Korea to teach Chinese, because i heard that their salary is low and looking at the high-cost living in Seoul, i was afraid my friend will have a hard time surviving. But if it will be the same situation and benefits as hers, i am gonna be the most supportive person.
 
That's the beautiful piece of chocolate i got yesterday. oh btw, it was White Day in Korea yesterday, (the day similar to Valentine's Day but in Korea White Day is for guys to give girls chocolate and Valentine's Day is for girls to give guys), and iREALLY got a lot of chocolate! -- but it is from our boss and every female staff has the same *.*. So dear friends, please  help to put me up on the advertisement of "BF WANTED". Thanks! hehe...
2월 27일

Sweet Dreams ^.^

Perhaps some of my friends already know that, i've been a spend-all since i came to work in Seoul. In Chinese, i am a qualified "月光族". It is definitely not something i am proud of -- i've long past the rebellious adolescent age, quite the reverse,  i am ashamed. As a 23-year-old adult, I haven't been able to arrange my personal finance properly. What I did is endless internet shopping, 8 hours a day, 7 days a week...
 
I feel myself obsessed, addictied, and insane, for which i should not blame the super-developed internet shopping malls in South Korea, even though it is in fact a fatal temptation for most girls. My feelings are complex in this whole process, while i am enjoying viewing and further possessing those beautiful things, i am laughing at my vulnerability in resisting material things and lack of self-control. Also i am amazed at how strong-willed i am in internet shopping(please don't laugh), sitting there continuously for up to 7 hours, without a move, nor a cup of water. I could have died on my seat, just like those workaholics!
 
I don't know how it is like when you are addicted to drugs, but i think, the effect is more or less the same. I am addicted to internet shopping and can't get enough of it!
 
Under every obsessive behaviour there are roots in psychology. i am not a psychologist (though i am very interested), but i knew there is something wrong with me. kind of stressed perhaps. Inability to communicate with people around, recent break-up in a long-time relationship, frustration in doing the stupid mechanical work in the office, a bit shock at the insane prices in Seoul, and most importantly, lack of friends nearby, which i just figured out last night.
 
It was a small thing actually. For the first time since i worked in Seoul, I had sweet dreams and woke up in the morning with smile on my face, satisfied and . I cannot remember what happend in my dream, but i do know it was sweet and joyful, and what's more, the sweet feeling remains and lights up my whole day, on which i don't feel the obssess to go shopping. The only reason for all the above, is very simple -- i met my long-time-no-see friend and had wonderful time talking all the afternoon. Together we remembered the good old days, catched up with each other's news, as well as other friends'...
 
Then i realized spending time with friends is so important! I've always enjoyed hanging around with friends but i never thought that the deprivation of time with friends can be devasting for my mental health as well as my physically health -- i've lost 5 kgs up to now.
 
I do miss my friends, friends since middle high school in my hometown, friends from university in Beijing, friends sharing 2 years' closeness in the mountain of suburban Seoul... sadly they are all far away from me, leaving me alone in Seoul. It is true that most of us still keep in touch, share a lot of things through internet or phone and have a good time from that, but sometimes we just need someone to BE THERE for you, and then i find everyone is out of my reach. Yes it is me, exactly, who chosed my own way, so now i am tasting the bitter fruit of free will. isn't it funny?
 
Sure i can and should make some new friends here, but if you have work experience, you may find that it is much more difficult to make real friends now. Firstly, you sold 80% of your time to your boss, not much time left even for yourself; second, most of the time people around you are colleagues, they can benice and helpful, but you will not be interested in meeting colleagues again on precious weekends, after meeting them all through the weekdays; third, in Korea, people like to fix you on blind dates for the purpose of marriage, not for friends in the most common sense. however right now i am not that keen in making boyfriends nor getting married.
 
So old friends are far far away, and new friends are few and busy, then i end up spending time alone, and quiet.
 
i figured it is not good, at least for my health. Sometimes i have the urge buying an airticket flying home, but the more realistic way is perhaps getting myself around with people.
 
i am gonna register for a swimming class next month, hopefully to gain my lost weight, and more importantly to get me out of the insufficient, empty feelings.
 
 i am grateful for the friend who shared a wonderful time yesterday, and gave me psychological satisfaction and sweet dreams, and i pray to the lord for a change in my life.... Thank you, Amen! ^^
2월 22일

Welcome to my new space~

i've always preferred something simple rather than sophisticated and i've always believed "sophisticated" is a negative word because the Chinese translation "诡辩的, 久经世故的" is really not commendatory, until recently i watched an American TV programme where the stylists are all trying so hard to transform their unpolished clients into sophisticated women.
 
Then for the first time, i realized that "sophisticated" can be a positive thing too.  Who will appreciate a diamond or precious stone before it is skillfully cut and polished? Who loved it when everybody in China wears the same simple blue or green sun yat sen's uniform during 1950s ~60s? Without delicate makeup, fancy outfit and dazzling jewllery, who will ever become the shiniing star in Hollywood? Simple is good, but it is not always the best. Sometimes a little bit more color makes life more beautiful, isn't it?
 
Perhaps that explains why i've suddenly customized my MSN space, on impulse. hehe... Those who doesn't like this color or theme, please kindly bear with me. In my eyes, it is the sexiest outfit for my space. Cheers, to my new space~ *^.^*
2월 7일

Reasons i stay in Korea

Many friends have suggested me to go back to China, since I am now living in Korea all by myself, without family or relatives, without a boyfriend. Sincerely I appreciate their concern for me, however it has always been my principle that I am the one who knows the situation best so I should be the one who make decisions for myself. And after carefully considering my situation, I ve come to the conclusion that I should stay, at least for one more year or so.
 
Here are the reasons I like about Seoul:
1. Hot. Korean people are known for their hot temper and hot food. hehe... which i enjoy a lot. Their hot character add a lot of spice to their daily life and the city as well. You seldom see any Korean bored or idle. They are always moving, running, up to something... that's in their blood I guess. I love the enthusiasm in them. They are not perfect people, but they do have characters I appreciate a lot.
 
2.Safe. Korean people are comparatively more disciplined due to their strict legislation. It is a crime to be naked (even only for the upper body) in public, it is a crime for a husband to cheat on his wife, and it is also a crime to download illegal files (such as music and movie) from internet... In term of social order and public security,  Seoul is paradise. (Of course there are also crimes, but much much less)  I can leave my handbag zipper always open with cellphone, mp3 and wallet in it, I can get my lost purse sent back several days later by the one who picked it up on the bus, I never worried about harrassment in a crowded bus or subway because I know there are plainclothesman watching out, and I can walk home in the midnight... There are some Koreans saying Seoul is a dangerous place compared to other cities in Korea, but in my eyes, Seoul is the safest place I've ever known.
 
3.Convenient. Besides the subway extending to almost every corner of the city,  there are so many things making my life in Seoul incredibly convenient and comfortable. Internet shopping, where you can buy everything you can come out of your mind, including fresh vegetable, fruits and meat (hehe... see i've become a housewife *^.^*); quick delivery, which you can deliver whatever you want within 1 hour or so with only a phone call; food service, also with one phone call, you can get breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner on time outside your door, anytime you name it. oh so many so them! cannot remember all...
 
4.Girls always in skirt. hehe... Korean girls never put on pants! exaggerating a little bit... but out of 365 days in a year, there are probably 360 days they are wearing skirt. Oh i love wearing skirt in a snowy day like today.  With thick white snow all around, you feel you are a real princess (or a real girl). hehe... Not only skirt, the delicate makeup, soft curly colored hair, layered short and long combinations of clothes, pointing/round-toe shiny pumps... I have to say that, every Korean girl has a taste of her appearance, no matter it is good or bad. You can easily see 60 year's old grandma with her delicate makeup and colorful cute shoes, which will definitely bright your day.
 
5. Guys guys guys... I envy them actually...they have beautiful curled styled long hair, fair smooth skin, and fresh and tender-colored shirts... oh God grant all those to me as well! haha... i am sure you have seen many in Korean soap operas. Their appearance makes you want to touch... (*^.^*) At the same time, that fresh tender  look doesn't mean they are women. You will just be surprised how could they be masculine and sexy as well. A different definition.
 
There are still many things attracting me to explore more about Seoul. I am glad that my interest hasn't dried away, more importantly, my poor Korean ability... oh I need to spend more time in studying that language. Hopefully next year this time, I can understand everything they are talking about. God bless me~
 
I guesss i wrote too much here today.. my arms are sore ...now break time...
1월 8일

now my door has double lock

 
suddenly i found, day-off is even more tiring than weekdays!
 
first, you have lots of cleaning, washing and sorting things,
second i got a long shopping list, thought most of them can be done on internet,
third, you have to feed your own stomach, which is definitely a big challenge for me coz i don't much enjoy cooking or dish-washing,
in addition to all above, you've got some people to visit your home, ask you about anything...
 
now, you end up more exausted when you finally have time to go to bed.
 
hehe... anyways, tired but rather cheerful... because i don't have to work.
 
 
1월 6일

still working like a machine

 
didn't write anything yesterday, feel guilty now... but really couldn't afford time. I got to finish arranging those 200 letters before my appointment at 7 p.m. The paper cut my fingers many times, oh God really hurts!
 
i don't want to be bored to death in those bunches of files so i wear my earphone and watch Sex and the City while i am arranging those letters... from 9a.m. to 6p.m.
 
but it was fun to meet some friends after work and enjoy a movie together. "Perhaps Love". Jin Chengwu is goddamn so handsome that i can't bear looking into his eyes! the funniest thing is Lin Pengxuan told us that he cried several times during the movie! hahahahah... never knew that he gets so emotional in a movie! is there anybody else who every cried over that movie? Do tell me.
 
Haven't finished the piled files yet, but there is something to look forward to -- tomorrow will be my first Saturday off since my boss finally changed the working hour policy a little. Any day-off is feels sooooooooo sweet and precious... i think i am getting old...
 
Gotta back to work on those goddamn letters again. I should thank Zhu Yufan a million times, who sacrified his holiday making a computer program for me to process those boring form letters. He saved my life from Slavery, now i am stepping into NeoFeudalism in 2006, Seoul, South Korea.
 
 
1월 4일

Thank you my dear friends!

 
what a busy day! I've got 40 letters to make and fax, and another 300 letters to copy and arrange for signature! Shxx...
 
Koreans are so workaholics -- which is my personal opinion, as well as ILO reports: Korean people worked 2350 hours on average in 2005, topped the longest working hours in the world, while the productivity is left far behind other countries, only 40% or something (can't remember exactly, it was in the TV news). Not only they work hard themselves, they also push everybody else to work as hard, if not harder. I am a good example, as the person who is being pushed to work hard of course.
 
Right now in my office, they give me quota such as 400 Madrid letters and 200 NPR letters per month. so i feel like a peasant who labored hard everyday in the field, doing the same, simple, stupid work. The only difference between me and a peasant labor is, his field is water and soil, and my field is Word and Excel, plus printer and fax machine.
 
I was thinking about writing something special in Seoul, but apparently not enough time today. Maybe next time. Gotta work hard now...labor labor labor...
1월 3일

Brand new year, brand new start

i've always wanted to write something about my life, such as a diary, but have never successfully done so, for which the only reason is laziness . But today, two friends from university, who i haven't met nor talked for a long time, added me to their MSN and further suggested me writing a blog.
 
RIGHT!!! that is it -- some push from outside to keep me going... Let me take this chance to dedicate my first blog to my friends CHENG Yandong and LI Lintao, who gave me "the First Cause", hehe... Thanks!
 
It is quiet warm in Seoul today. Though still below zero, the air touches you in a gentle way. Bathing in the golden sunshine and closing my eyes, i can smell the Spring! the spring i've being expecting desperately....
 
2005 was not an easy year. What comes up first in my mind is -- tears...  Tears of sorrow shed for my good friend's leaving from TLBU, tears of pressure from the ridiculous "regulation" in TLBU, tears of depress for being dumb in this dynamic downtown Seoul, tears of disappointment with parents' conservative mind and opponent attitude, tears of despair with my nearly two years' relationship...
 
too much tears... ENOUGH! I've got to change this miserable situation and my life in this coming new year. I HATE TEARS.  i am born to be happy! i should be happy! and i shall be happy! hahaha.... sounds insane, isn't it?
 
Now looking back time is over, it is time to move on. I really hope that 2006 will bring me a lot of freedom, laughter... health, wealth and happiness in my life! Thank you dear Lord, for giving me such a wonderful life! Amen~
 
 
 
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